Sorry

I am sorry…
Youth was wasted on me
Forgot that you…
Could never forget…
Never forgive…
Never know….
The regret…
The tears shed…
The pain felt…
Because I made a mistake…
I cannot undo…
Cannot ask forgiveness for…
Only atone for…
And never be forgiven for….

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Why?

Why am I not as important
As that which I carry?
When did I stop becoming
A human being?
What have I been so far
That you would curse me
Abandon me And kill me?
For the sake of a tumor
A node, a thing within
That for the life of me
I cannot yet comprehend
This awful portend
Of things changing
A mistake made
in a backyard alley
Lust filled and quickly hasty
There was no thought of tomorrow
And here, I lie amongst you
Broken, trampled on…
Bleeding in a sewer
Because you blocked my path
To getting proper care
And instead pushed me
To a quack with a hanger
In yet another dingy alley…
Was my life of such little worth
That it was sacrificed
For the one I can no longer
defend against all of you?
I had hoped for better
Among people I grew up with
Surely I, too, had a right to life.
Choose life, choose me…
Allow me the choice to live as well…

RhB 20122208 1103A

The Sound of Your Name

Echo like a forceful wind
The sound of your name
Comes whipping across
Throws me into the past…
I am left blinking in its wake
Water almost seep through
The cavities of my eyes
As my nose flare
in remembered instances
I am no longer myself…
The sound of your name
Moulds me and shapes me
Whipping through me
And cutting open
The bandages
I had plastered over
Cracks in the ceiling
And now…
The sound of your name
Has ripped them open
Exposing
the mouldering
maggot ridden memories
of what once was
The sound of your name
A hurricane
With gale force winds
Typhoon like…
Destruction in its wake
This sound of your name…
 
RhB   20162403 359P
 

DIS COR DANT

What would you

have me do

With the discordant notes

left

Within the echoing

walls of this

Abandoned hue

of blue

Where would you

have me throw

The vestiges of home

grown berries

Left rotting in this

discordant garden

We once walked through

And somehow

Plow

Around the harrowed

ground

That we had called

our own

Or the shadows

That linger

Where your hand

Once touched

The counters of

Succulent

Patterns

Now awashed

In frosty

Dusted snow

And I think about the mess

You left in the kitchen

The sink crying

Dripping in its

Aloneness

The silence is

Deafening

I cannot think

And my bones

Have turned into

Goo

Like the peanut butter and jelly

Still stuck

In the fridge

Besides the mayo

Hardening

Like the garden

In abandoned want

Disarray you had left

My life in tatters

Sinking into some kind of

Discordant arrangement…

 

RhB 20160102 900A

 

Useful Things

image

Useful things

Darkness – for too much light
Brings harsh reality into sight
Candlelight to cut the dark
Create shadows, buy a spark
A glass to contain the heat
The cold to delete
Flowers for their beauty
Enhancing with their simplicity
Liquid effervescence
From fruit grown cold
That I may forget the presence
Of these things untold…

RhB 20150512 549A