I want to walk down the street
Not so much in the latest fashion
But that the way I walk turns heads
And inspires envy instead
I would like to meet with famed people
Not so much for their status
But for the smiles that we would share
And somehow inspire envy
I would like to leave eloquent words
Not so much for the fame and fortune
But for the way my thought and mind
Would create and inspire envy
I would like to capture one rich moment
No, not so much for the adulation
But for the way fortune had smiled
And touched me and inspired envy
I want to smile with each person I meet
With confidence and curiosity
That in doing so
I could simply inspire envy
And I want to love in a grand way
That people stop and stare
And come away with this feeling
We , you and I, have inspired envy
I am a broken piece that dares to stand.
I have gone into the fire and it was grand.
My life has been lived on shifting sands.
There was violence and troubles
and many rosy bubbles.
Innocence was taken
long before it should have been.
I’ve been at the bottom and clawed my way back out.
In the midst of depression, I know what I’m talking about.
I’ve been used,
I’ve been abused.
And all this knowledge, of what is its use?
Betrayed, beguiled, beheaded…
Thrown away like so much garbage.
I have walked on empty roads
and searched the deepest clouds.
And the sea is full of my tears alone.
And no one dares atone.
Victim of circumstance,
Child of happenstance…
I am that which no one speaks of…
The black sheep in the family…
I am you and you are me,
A broken soul that dares to stand
Among the broken things lying in that sand
Skipping to an unheard band
Among people willing to pull me down
to keep me lying on the ground…
And I am not alone…
Note: I want a better essay for this. The exploration of human brokenness and why some stay down and some get up. I write in the premise that all of us broke sometime ago. And no matter how we clean it, some part of us will always be so. We wouldn’t be human if we are too whole.
In all my reading, and in all my research and in a conversation here, I come across this epithet of Jung Yunho. Now, this idea that he is SM Entertainment’s golden boy is a little befuddling to me. What precisely makes him a golden boy specifically for SME? Because he was loyal to the company when JYJ broke away? Because he stayed? Well, Shim Changmin did the same, right? Why isn’t Shim Changmin SME’s golden boy then? Why is Jung Yunho the one they call that? What makes him so special? His polite ways? His loyalty? The way he sings? The way he dances? The fact that Shim Changmin and he makes album sales past the quarter million mark? The way he supposedly garners respect from younger idols and trainees? What makes this guy the golden boy of SME? Because personally, I see others that fit that bill. I don’t know much about this guy. Except what he shows on the screen. And even I know that’s a glimmer of truth, but not the whole of it. There is something about this all too perfect persona that somehow doesn’t sit well with how I view the world. There is no one person who has no flaws. Everyone has them. There is a darker side to this man, of this I’m sure. And there is a mystery behind those smiles that never reach his eyes. The rumors are that he’s favored by Lee Soo Man. While it could be true, to what extent is this favor? Speculation says he is paid big money. I wouldn’t doubt it, since the split on profits is only between two now and not five. And their popularity is a testament to the legend that began when there was five. Still, what precisely makes Jung Yunho SME’s golden boy? And what kind of benefits does that afford him? Will he, one day, be Lee Soo Man’s heir apparent? Will he run SME? And precisely when will we know the answers?
Nothing in my research shows conclusive evidence of any of these speculations. So I am confused as to why this man is called SME’s golden boy. From what I see, here is a man who has clawed his way into a top ranking idol, trapped in the machine of fame’s glorious fish bowl, trapped by circumstances and choices. And doing what he loves to do – sing and dance. And for now, this is good. I hope he is well rewarded for his efforts.
However, in the back of his mind, he really should think about what comes next. Because he can’t stay golden all his life. I hope his family and he has a plan for what comes next. The next generation of idols are already in the system. After military service, he possibly can have two or three years more of fame and fortune. And then what? Gold is in truth the hardest hue to hold. Robert Frost said it quite nicely...NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY…
I do not remember why
I have loved you so
Perhaps because I
Was loved so truly
With no thought of recompense
Or equitable expense
I have been loved by you
No other love can so compare
For yours was truly the epitome
Of one given so selflessly…
For My Mamang… Rest In Peace, my mother.
Even now, the tears come close when remembering you.
I’m hearing a lot of buzz concerning this drama. Wow! They say he’s transforming himself into tough guy mode. Huh. Didn’t that start when he put out I then WWW? I hear that besides the 3 brothers angle, there’s also the love story triangle. I wonder if they’ll use Just Another Girl for that scene when Jaejoongie’ s character gets rejected and he cries’ after drinking the whole store’s worth of soju. Doesn’t that happen too often? However, I’m looking forward to this guy. Hopefully, we see the same emotionalism that was shown in Dr. Jin. Can’t wait to see just how bloody they’ll make the man. They said it will be his last drama before he leaves for service. Damn. Hope he leaves us with memories that lasts through two years.
The drama stills already provides us with downloadable material. Here’s my favorite. This was taken from JYJ3 website.
I see you picking up
The little things that define you
And placing them carefully
Into boxes and bags
And slowly this space
devoid of traces of you
The anger slowly dissipates
It leaves behind a trace
Of a forgotten love
And the bitter taste of regret
You move around
Not seeing me
I have become invisible
Your heart has closed itself
Against the feel of me
The scent of me
Any traces of me
As surely as you go
Erasing everything of you
Here in this empty space
We once called home…