Summer Idyll

A tall drink of sighs
In the summer height
Of heated temps
And unending light
Drown me in memories
Of cold sprinkler rain
And scented roses
where we had lain
Fairy lights blink
And gather round
The magic rink
Of faire elven mound
Heated lips touch
And captured
Breathing magic
We are enraptured
Cooling breeze stirs
Passionate rustling
Of hands and fingers
And a summer evening
A wedding under stars
Dripping down like a blessing
from a velvety sky
Souls start to sing
It is summer, summer night
Unending delight
Keeping in sight
Let’s run hand in hand
Under star and moonlight
And scatter fairy light
And dance to whispering breezes
Of an unseen band…
RhB 201414041253P


Keep My Head Down

Keep my head down
And not look up
Keep my head down
And not look up
I want to bury my head in the sand
And not look up
I want to keep my head down
So I don’t see the ugliness
And I won’t feel the shock
And you won’t see the tears streaming down
Just look at my back
If I can just keep my head down
And not look up
The world you know would still exist
No tears to mar those pretty eyes
And scars to hide inside your heart
Let me keep my head down
And not look up
I don’t want to see
The hatred in your eyes
Or the sadness of accusations
Of stupid betrayals and other emotions
I’ll keep my head down
And not look up
I’ll bury my head in the sand
I’ll take it all and give it up
I’ll take your heart and give you up
Let me keep my head down
And not look up
You slam the door
As soon as I leave
I can finally grieve
I’ll take your heart and give you up
Let me keep my head down
And not look up.
RhB 201408040944A
A/N:  LOL!  I was feeling really weird today… and for some reason, I wanted to express that I want to stick my head in the sand and become an ostrich.  I just don’t want to deal with my life as it is right now.  Too much crap coming and I don’t want to deal with anything!  Seriously!  But they have to be dealt with.  Taxes and crap like this.  Hell.
However, the words “Keep my head down” reminded me of TVXQ’s song “Why? (Keep your head down)” and it turned into this.  LOL!  Was I channeling Kim Jaejoong?  Don’t know.  But I swear it’s so perfect a response!!!!!  LOL!
I swear, the intention is sometimes different from the finished product.  Even my poems turn darker than what I had first intended.

Of course, as with any poem, the interpretation resides with the reader. If it resonates with you… Then great!

KPOP and me – YunJae – a rant



This portmanteau of Kim Jaejoong and Jung Yunho’s names seems to evoke many emotions.  Is it because the world sees in them the modern version of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet?  Or as it were, Yunmeo and Jaeliet?  And their parents and companies the ones that drive them apart?  SMontagues and Capulets-Jes?  My God!  It actually works!  Not that I’m saying C-Jes was the monster of a parent here.  For the Yunmeo and Jaeliet scenario, this works.  🙂
What is it about the two that makes one think they belong together?  What did we see that says they should be together?  Was it those looks?  That hug in MKMF 2008?  Oooh, I swear, I still get goose bumps looking at that particular clip!  It’s one of my favorite images!  Was it the shy, “I love you, Yunho…” from way back in the day instigated by one crazy kid named Shim Changmin? The way they always seem to live in each other’s pockets?  Or the gentle way that Yunho smiles at Jaejoong or the bright smile Jaejoong seems to get whenever he’s around Yunho? Or the awkward, ‘Should I or shouldn’t I?’ question that flits over Jung Yunho’s face as he contemplates feeding Kim Jaejoong with a skewered treat? Was it the skinship? I don’t really know.  But, try as I would like to, I do not see them with anyone else.   I’ve read so many accounts from YunJae shippers and those that disagree.  I’ve read many articles on “Are they?  Aren’t they?” line of questioning.  And watched many videos.  Too many. What is it about Kim Jaejoong’s sad songs that makes me think it has to be about Jung Yunho?  Or that the one and only song that is legitimately acknowleged as Jung Yunho’s own composition and lyrics, “November with Love”, has to be an answer to one of Kim Jaejoong’s emotionally charged other songs?
And those fan fictions!  Holy crap!  Okay, some of them are a little far-fetched even for me(MPreg?  Man, I wish that was true, but seriously?), but the others…  Oh, hell!  I feel like I’m reading about their lives in many dimensions and across time and through the folds of the tesseract (Note:  This is from a Wrinkle in Time.). Albeit they are infused with the limitations of the author’s own culture and experience (some are soooo limited that you can only roll your eyes at them. I mean, waiting until marriage for THAT! Does U-Know Yunho and Hero Jejung really look like the kind of people who would wait until after marriage?  Especially in Korea?  Well, right on, then…). 
(An aside:  There is one LiveJournal site that I really like.  Wish she’d update her story ‘Love in the Ice’ faster.  Beeswaxing is a fan fic writer with an interesting prose.  She has a story called Sleeping Beauty in which Jae gets pregnant (MPreg).  And while this really doesn’t mesh with my idea of okay, she writes the story so prettily that even I can believe in this alternate universe.  Her other verse of ICE and The Tattoist, those two I really liked.  Couldn’t put it down!  I think I had stayed up all night reading them that I only had two hours sleep in one day and went to work still!  Needless to say, I took a 30 min nap during lunch.)
Then there are the fan service other “pairings” out there, but for the life of me, I can’t understand why these “pairings” do not sit well with me.  I do not care for HoMin.  Or JaeChun.  Why?  Because I see these pairings as more brotherly than anything else.  But YunJae or even JaeHo, these two, I can definitely see them as a romantic pair.  So reading about Changmin and Yunho getting married in a fan fic makes me wrinkle my brows.  Same thing with Jaejoong and Yuchun getting hitched.  I sometimes feel like I’m breaking out in hives.  I totally cannot understand why these kind of stories bother me.  It’s fiction, right?  But the images of the people are just not correct together.  At least, in my limited mind they aren’t, which is probably why I cringe and break out in hives. (Which is why I apologize to beeswaxing.  I CANNOT read The Trophy Wife verse.  Two of the pairings that make me break out in hives is there!!!!  JaeChun and HoMin….  It makes me cringe just thinking about the dynamics there… Aaarrgghhhh!  Surprisingly, I was okay with MinSu in the ending of The Tattoist.  Although I usually don’t see them as paired as in my head, Yuchun and Junsu pairs quite well.)
And why is it that even now after 4 years of not being together, there is that niggling hope (perhaps it’s just me) that somewhere, sometime, in some way, these two would find their way to each other in that romantic way and not as ‘brothers’ and ‘best friends’?  Or that if it’s not in this lifetime, they’ll somehow find each other again in another one with a happier ending than what is given them now?  But in this lifetime, why is there a feeling, that having met each other, Kim Jaejoong and Jung Yunho will never be whole without the other?  They’ll go through the motions of living, but within themselves, there will be a void no drink, no other person, no pursuits can ever fill.  And that, while we all go through it, seems like such a tragedy.  That these two souls that seem fated cannot come together because of emotional baggage, the ways of the world, and the society in which they find themselves in. 
But really, why?  Why do they seem to go together like white on rice?  Like ketchup and hotdog?  Like hamburger and fries?  Like coffee and cream?  Like hot chocolate and marshmallows?  They’re okay alone, but better together.  No, wait.  Together, they seem much more special, more than the sum of their parts. 
And so why?  Why is it that this particular pairing seem to linger in fans’ minds?  What is it about the two of them together that seems soooooo… I don’t know… right?  I’d like someone to answer.  It’d be nice to know, because for the life of me, I don’t know, but I can’t seem to look away either.  Why are they so fascinating together?  Is it because we speculate as to whether they’re together or not?  If they were together or not?  I mean, there’s HoMin and I don’t give a… about that pairing… There’s SiChul? That pairing and I don’t have any inclination to read about them or find out about this.  Although Siwon looks very good and certainly, Heech is a very pretty man, still… There is nothing like YunJae in KPop that I’ve come across.  What the hell are they?  And why do they seem so perfect together? And why are they so perfect that they inspire crap loads of stories and pictures like the one above?